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Karlani Doyen
05-27-2008, 04:52 PM
So you could see it in my eyes
The mood has been going south
After a long moment of silence
"Please give me a hug" I said quietly

Because I was fine this morning
Taking the family, kids and puppy
To the east bay, cold and windy
To celebrate another Mother's Day

We were running on a stretch
of earthy sand along the beach
climbing up the red clay cliff
carving names and shapes of heart

To remember this -- a special day
Peculiarly memorable in a way
I was watching the little children
Running and wallowing in the mud

Behind a curtain of tears -- perhaps
I could remember the happy times
But I also knew -- times were fleeting
And I couldn't part with the past

So that's how we spent another
memorable day for all the mothers
I was so happy and unusually high
But the gloomy weather began

Everyone was asleep in the rain
So I must keep driving on until
We got home -- and I continued
to keep myself busy with mundane

Tasks, taking out the trash
Giving the puppy a bath and laughed
with the little baby running away
from the splashing water from the tub

The pathetically funny face of the puppy
And the baby said I love you so
As the evening approached from the sky
I felt lost, and my guts and stomach

They started falling out of my body
I felt like I'd lost the lower half --
Floating without guts or tummy
Only this vague and familiar anxiety

So I could no longer remain silent
And I asked you for a warm hug
Because the night was so cold
And I couldn't be parted with this

I don't know what to do to stop
Hurting you and others who must bear
the burden of my persistent affliction
As no one would truly understand

I would do anything to be cured
Because no one wants to be sad
In moments of joy, and be tortured
with feelings of guilt vaguely conjured

To rediscover my source of happiness
So in the mean time I just camp out
Waiting for the big waves to come
And take me back to my old self

And I still write these verses
When I feel down and sad
Just be assured that they aren't
Something unhealthy -- just an outlet
For me to transfer my melancholy
To an unsuspecting world who
comes across a message tucked
inside a bottle tossed to sea
Randomly
On that rainy day
The dark sky
And sadness

5/12/08

Sunshiness
05-27-2008, 07:02 PM
:(

When the clouds have come about
We must not just stand around
And let them bounce us about
We must stand and fight
With all our might
Cry if we must
But we must have the will
To get up from the fall

Sunshiness
05-27-2008, 07:18 PM
Last two yearswere bad
That it made me mad
Mad to the point I was out of control
Which I couldn't take hold
Roaming about and Lost in my own tears
That I was in such great fear
Of my own mind failing me
My dad was also in pain
And wish for his daughter much better gains
He tried and tried to make me anew