PDA

View Full Version : Killing



Karlani Doyen
01-01-2008, 05:09 PM
I am killing my time needlessly
Waiting for the moment when I could see
The act of killing -- time and time again
I am witnessing time passing by
Mired deep in sadness and sleepless nights
Counting every minute every second of the day
Wondering how I could have spent
My time more wisely -- mercy killing maybe?

How about just letting go of it all?
And just be kind, be forgiving to myself
How about just breaking out a smile
And just think of happy thoughts
Like Peter Pan I might even float
to Neverland where everything always
stays the same regardless of the ticking
clock buried within the lame croc
What a caricature of life -- specially one
struggling against a depression. I must
admit my efforts have been valiant
Yet I could see that my battles have
been misplaced -- fighting the wrong enemies
The wrong wars. And I am losing fast

Perhaps mercy killing -- let go of myself
Let's pretend nothing ever happened
And I am still who I was a year ago
Before that accidental slip through
The crack of the fragile emotion
That sent me on the journey which
I thought was fun and exciting --
To explore the new landscape of
the soul, only that it never seemed
to end -- And the pain and loneliness
They began to take over as constant
companions through the deep dark
tunnels of the mind. I think now
is the time for me to dream up
a scheme for killing time with mercy

1/1/08